I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
