hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
