He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
