i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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