Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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