on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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