All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
