You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
