If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
