Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
