haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
