He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
