I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
