Just took my morning after pill in the library
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
