Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
