I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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