this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
