yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
