Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
