My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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