...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
