At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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