I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
