Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
