Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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