you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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