Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
