Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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