lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
