i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
