You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
