Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
