Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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