What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I had to cum in my sink.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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