i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
