a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
