Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
