I love black thongs
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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