So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
