When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
