She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
