I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
