I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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