i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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