Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
