The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
