Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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