arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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