Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
