dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
