I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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