I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
